9 Ways to Deal With Heartbreak

1. FEEL the pain. Befriend the heartbreak. Aminin sa sarili na nasasaktan ka. Never deny the feelings of hurt and loneliness. Iiyak lang iyan. Running away is not an option. The hurt will go with you wherever you go.

2. FIGURE OUT what happened. Process the things that transpired and analyze. Maaring may mga bagay na hindi mo napansin o binalewala. As an exercise, try to write your love story from start to finish (kahit bullet points lang o images). You can discern patterns of mistakes and significant lapses in the relationship. Your job is not to repeat past blunders and mistakes.

3. FORGET and FORSAKE all things which remind you of him/her (i.e. photo albums, love/emo songs, Facebook connection). Switch mental gears kapag nadadala ang utak sa mga ala-ala. Tanggapin din ang katotohanan na mahirap tanggalin sa isipan ang isang taong napakaraming ibinigay sa iyo.

4. FINISH what needs to be finished. Huwag nang hintayin na ang kabilang partido ang magsara ng dapat isara. Initiate the closure. Put an end to everything. Tanggapin na “tapos na ang lahat.” Ang natapos na relasyon ay tulad ng mga basag na matalim na salamin. Minsan, mas mainam na huwag na siyang pulutin at buuin kaysa masaktan muli ang iyong damdamin.”

5. FELLOWSHIP with Family and Friends. They are your refuge in many ways. Avoid being alone. Have a support system/emotional shock absorber. Makapagbibigay sila ng matitinding encouragement. As Proverbs 12:25 tells us, “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.”

6. FIND Activities which can ease the pain (i.e.leisure travel, comfort food, read books). Keep yourself busy. Counter sadness with preoccupation with things that are fun and enjoyable. Channel your energies to worthwhile activities. Now is the time to love yourself (one thing you may have forgotten when you were in a relationship).

7. FORGIVE yourself and your ex. This may take time but this is the way to go. Be better, not bitter. Get rid of anger and other emotional baggages. Never argue with the person because it can only worsen the situation. FREE Yourself from pain! Kung ikaw ang dahilan ng breakup, patawarin ang sarili. Hindi lang ikaw ang may pagkukulang.

8. FALL IN LOVE again. There is wisdom in the “2-year rule” before commencing a new relationship. Take time to heal unresolved feelings. Matapos ang recuperation period, pagbigyan ang puso na muling magmahal at mahalin. Meet new people and potential partners. Sa iba, mas matagal ang recovery. The rule of the thumb is: huwag papasok sa relasyon nang hindi pa lubusang nakaka-move on (iyong wala na ang sakit at galit kapag nagkita muli kayo ni ex).

9. FOCUS on God’s love for you. Walang ibang magmamahal sa iyo nang todo kundi si Lord. Huwag mong hanapin ang kaligayahan sa ibang tao. Si Lord ang greatest lover mo. Sa Kaniya, kumpleto ka! Isapuso ang awit ni David sa Psalm 34:18-19: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”

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